Image copyright 2011 by Philip Cairns
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
ETERNAL AUGUST
ETERNAL AUGUST
By Philip Cairns
Copyright 2011 by Philip Cairns
Trudging and sliding through the newly fallen January snow,
I’m thinking wistfully of hot August walks by the lake.
Sun beating down on my bronzed, porous skin.
Sunglasses and baseball cap shielding me from the rays.
Watching a group of young guys laughing and playing in the warm water.
Runners and cyclists zooming by on the bike path beside Lake Ontario.
Wish I were back there,
That broiling site straddling my wistful reverie.
Instead, I wear 2 warm sweaters and a long-sleeved shirt under my dark gray winter coat.
Long, thick purple scarf wound tightly around my neck.
Turquoise knitted cap snugly covering my head.
Sharp bites of cold chew ravenously on my numb, curled-up fingers.
Firm legs like blocks of ice.
No bare chests to ogle as they walk by in their tight, cut-off jeans.
Today, everyone looks like a fur trapper.
I’m remembering many, many moons ago,
Dressed in a red snowsuit,
Making angels in the white powder.
Smoking candy cigarettes,
My breath swirling in the chilled air.
Building snowmen in the backyard.
Running indoors for hot chocolate and cookies.
Snow fights with neighbourhood friends.
Today, I’m longing for a sweltering August afternoon.
Arriving home with sweat drenched clothes from brisk daily walks.
Soaking in the warmth of the day.
Feeling at the peak of things.
Listening to the rolling rhythm of the tides.
No shivering at bus stops at 3 a.m.,
Coming home from work.
Slush splattered from impatient taxi-cabs.
Twisting my ankle in the colourless blankets covering the sidewalk’s flaws.
Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster making out on the beach
In “From Here to Eternity”.
Burt almost naked in his skin tight black swimsuit.
Deborah’s back totally bare.
Sweaty, carnal and erotic.
It wouldn’t be the same if they were recumbent in a blizzard,
Covered in fur from head to toe like two Inuit elders.
Prudish and chaste.
The wind howling round their butts.
No, not a classic love scene, at all.
In January, it would take them 10 minutes to undress
Before they made love.
Swim trunks come off in one second flat.
Give me eternal August.
Sweet and gentle.
Soothing sunshine every day.
Snow a putrid, distant memory.
No leaky boots to contend with.
No frosty penis from a late night pee beside an oak tree.
No chilled fingers and toes.
Just the soft swoosh of the green-gray tides.
Fiery red sun.
Packs of smiling faces playing volleyball in the burning sand.
Bare feet splashing in the surf.
The world a spinning prism of clear, bright crystal.
Monday, November 29, 2010
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY
Monday, November 29, 2010
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY
By Philip Cairns
Copyright 2010 by Philip Cairns
Outside Buckingham Palace,
A Little Person terrorist dresses up as an 8 year old girl.
He hands a bouquet of explosive-ridden violets to the Queen.
In response, Elizabeth smiles serenely.
Both people are blown to bits,
Along with hundreds of screaming spectators.
Blood and green guts fly through the air,
As well as silver helmets and horses’ hooves.
The Queen’s diamond tiara lands on a Bobby’s head.
Eyeballs rocket upwards and in every direction.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Manned spaceships land on Pluto.
Scandinavians, in particular, like to vacation on Jupiter’s rings.
Vaginaplasty operations become puzzlingly fashionable in hot climates,
Replacing scarlet Mohawks as a youthful fashion statement.
Who would’ve thought?!
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Severed limbs rejuvenate themselves
As the result of new wonder drugs.
Millions of people have their pubic hair removed by electrolysis.
Teleportation is the only way to fly.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Wars and disease are a thing of the past.
We all speak in a politically correct manner.
Racial prejudice ceases to exist.
Jesus and Buddha and Adolf Hitler all rise up from the dead.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Homophobia is a distant memory for one and all.
Slasher films are banned.
All copies of “Night of the Living Dead” disintegrate.
Liquid love is poured into the drinking water.
Teenage lust runs out of control resulting in millions of unwanted bastards.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Actors are no longer forced to take hideous telemarketing jobs between gigs.
Everyone on the planet has more than enough to eat.
Pure spring water is in abundance for all.
A band of pure love and truth surrounds the planet.
Crime is a thing of the past.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Depression vanishes.
Mental illness is no more.
Child slavery is gone in a puff of smoke.
Menstrual cycles are no longer necessary.
Anyone can live in a warm climate, beside the ocean, if they really want to.
Poetry is the new language of the masses.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the new century.
Clear skin is the order of the day.
Sexual fulfillment reigns supreme.
Everything and everyone is perfect in every single way.
Hitler soon melts, like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Judy Garland songs are played in hundreds of thousands of elevators and malls.
Through extraordinary technology, new Marilyn Monroe movies appear almost every day.
Welcome to the new digital century.
No more famine, sex slavery, oppression or exploitation.
No hunger or pain. No overdue credit card bills.
No unpaid mortgages or weeping widows.
Blinding sunlight illuminates Earth,
Putting a Vitamin D smile on our faces.
A tofu chicken in every aluminum-free pot.
Welcome to the 21st Century.
Welcome to the New Millennium.
Welcome to a Republican’s worst nightmare.
Welcome to my hopes and dreams.
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