SAD DAY BY THE LAKE

Friday, August 20, 2010

SAD DAY BY THE LAKE

By Philip Cairns

Copyright 2010 by Philip Cairns

Today is a very grey day.
The melancholy sun is hidden behind clouds.
The lake doesn’t sparkle as much as usual.
It’s chilly outside.

It’s still August.
The first day of the CNE.
But I smell fall in the air,
That leads to hideous winter,
A season I’ve never come to terms with.

The blues are washing over me.
I thought a long walk would pick up my spirits.
Alas, it’s not to be.

I sit beside Lake Ontario,
Worrying about the future.
Dreading another miserable winter to live through.
Even in the south of France,
It can be chilly after dark.

I wish the sun would peek out from behind the thick clouds.
Two ducks have swum to shore.
They’re cleaning their feathers,
A few yards from my feet.
One of them has a lovely patch of deep purple
Mixed in with the grey and white down.

I feel honoured just to sit and watch them primping and cleaning themselves,
As if I was privy to a private moment of theirs.
There are no people swimming or walking on the beach.

I’m wishing I had a new life.
Less struggle.
More money.
Some security.
It’s funny how a cloudy day can spin out your moods
Into a delicate, fretful place.

Today, the tides still sound beautiful,
But I’m wishing I was somewhere far away.
Fifteen years ago, I used to come here
And read Occult books about Witchcraft, Wicca and Voodoo.
I’d lost the confidence to write.

The seagull sits on a rock,
Perhaps hoping I’ll feed it.
She has no knowledge of this blackness
That’s descended on me this early evening.
If I don’t snap out of it,
I may burst into tears.

I recall the way I felt as a child,
When summer was near its end.
I hated going back to school.
Boring homework,
Taunting schoolmates,
Sadistic teachers.

The sun is finally peeking out
From behind the dark clouds.
In the distance, the water is sparkling, at last, near the shore.
Today is a bleak, mournful day.
I don’t want the summer to end.